Me versus Mosquitoes: one son of an itch

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The little tortuous beasts had been feasting upon my brancinho skin… Apparently Mosquitos in Brazil are predispositioned to thirst for vanilla, and let me tell you- there aren’t too many whities down here.

I awoke in the night and stumbled to the bathroom. This night was getting particularly bad, I had 30 bites, and it was only 2 am. I had more bumps than a Jackson road, but that wasn’t what concerned me the most, inspire of the potential for dengue fever….
My had was on fire. I mean, my body was itchy, but my eye was out of control. And as I stumbled into the bathroom, flipped on the switch. There it was…. I could only see out of one eye. I panicked. My eyelid was swollen shut. Stuck, like an awful allergic reaction.

I flipped, called everyone I could. It was the middle of the night and I was thousands of miles away in a different country… I obviously called my mom first (she’s my momma, can’t help it). No answer, and my stress grew with my eyelid.

Google became my best friend, and armed with an icecube eye patch and my iPhone I searched for a reason…. And like that, there it was.

Mosquitoes. They had gotten to me. On the day before I got to a World Cup game… As well as the day I intended to meet my future wife (didn’t happen; I’m a romantic?), this was a disaster.
A comedic disaster for sure, and from that day forward, I have slept with a mask on… Like a pretty little princess, yes I know.
To add to the life altering effect of the mosquitoes, I also wear Victoria secret perfume, which turns out to be some potent mosquito repellent. So yes, I smell pretty and look cute, but best of all… The mosquitoes can’t handle my style!

Signing off from Brazil as the battle continues, protect your money maker and beware of the mosquitoes thirst for their favorite flavor, Brancinho!

Sent from my iPhone

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