20 something and Confused

backsack

The Manifesto of the Wandering Soon-to-be College Grad

Prologue:

I was feeling pretentious and wrote the word prologue, and so it goes…

“What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?”

Langston Hughes

I’m 22. I graduate in May. And I have no idea what I’m doing with my life.

Was college supposed to be a manual for my life or is there some place I sign up for a life plan? It’s kind of ridiculous 18 years of education and my applicable knowledge to life equates to a standard 12 year old…. I’m a man, so I can grill ok and I attempt to fix things by repeatedly hitting them. But what else do I know?

I have mastered the art of telling teachers what they want to hear? It gets you good grades, but is this how I’m supposed to continue post-life?

I’m your average modern American 20-something graduate. 90s kids are the worst/best

  1. I have the “need” to see the world, mannnn, just like figure it all out bro. ( I say in jest, but it is actually what I want to do)
  2. I have a Communications degree, and am entirely unsure of what that entails (I randomly signed up for classes until it added up I can graduate)
  3. I literally can not work in a office 9-5. I look damn good in a suit, but I don’t want to be paid to scribble on paper in a jail cell.
  4. I don’t know what the dips in the economy means, or who is my local senator. I have however watched almost every tv series on Netflix.
  5. I am confused.

Words like economy, job market, and bills float around me like bubbles in the bath I take weekly…. cause it’s fun to make a beard out of bubbles, act like you haven’t.

I went to college for soccer. I love it, it consumes my life and makes my vision only as far as my professional dreams. I move to Brazil May 13th. I’ve won a national championship, played on arguably the best team in the country. I have lived with internationals for the past 3 years. And I made it through school in order to stay eligible for soccer. Let’s not jump to any conclusions, I’m two B+ away from a 4.0GPA, I didn’t just coast it in the class room. I mean my legs could go out any day, need the brain to power me if my body can’t.

So where does all this leave me? Well I’ve got a ticket to the dream, but no promises. I guess so far I’m doing pretty good for some kid from Monroe, Louisiana. A city famous for Duck Dynasty, Delta Airlines, and the first bottled Coke. I’m not sure if I can spread my wings and fly…. But I’m pretty sure I can still glide with style.

I don’t have a life guide, I do loosely have a life plan. It’s basic, make all my dreams come true. Maybe I watched too many Disney movies as a kid, maybe my parents believe in me too much, maybe I’m overconfident in what I can do…. But then again maybe I am right. It’s all just a big gamble, but I’ve got dice in my hand and I might as well roll. Money plays, and the aspirations of this redneck/nerd/athlete live on. Haha! See you in Rio, ate logo.

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